Saturday, December 1, 2012

Mariah Season 2k12

Just checking in briefly to make sure readers know what time of year it is. Sure, sure, December 1 is World AIDS Day, which you should all celebrate by going out and getting tested, by telling all your friends to get tested, and by refusing to fuck anyone who doesn't get tested. However, December also marks the start of Mariah season here on the Block. Mariah is a singer we love to make fun of, mostly because she's a giant mess. More seriously, she was also a precursor to the Christina Aguilera "tasteless bullshit" style of singing, which we worry has irreparably damaged popular music. However, because the holidays are a time of giving and forgiving, we are willing to put aside our malice for a short time. December is the one month a year that Will Danger will throw on the Mariah Carey Christmas album and listen along in earnest. She's just so wonderfully tasteless! She even manages to cram some cowbell into Joy to the World, which we didn't think was possible! Join us in stretching the upper registers of our hearing, wont you?

So, in honor of Mariah -- who, rumor has it, played a recording of applause while giving birth to her twins, so that it would be their first sound other than the bell tones that her uterus naturally produces -- let's all put on some ten inch pumps, hop on a stair master, and make the Yuletide really fucking gay.